Put in the effort.

Every once in a while I get one of these inspirational emails from Danielle LaPorte.

Although the advice is usually basic knowledge that I could get from anyone, I appreciate the timeliness of her random bits of wisdom.

There's this thought process that seems to permeate our culture that once you follow your intuition, determine what it is that your soul-calling may be, that everything just falls into place. Once you get it, you're supposed to just be able to get it - whatever that it may be. Whether it's realizing your purpose and going for a specific job or however your intuition seems to communicate with you, there's this expectation that realizing your thing should mean it's guaranteed to happen.

Working hard, hardly working...

Preparing to leave the house on a boat - thankful I wore a dress.

Every now and then I have to admit, I have an awesome job.

It's not like you have to drag it out of me, I adore what I do, it's literally everything I've wanted for at least a decade, probably (as in definitely) longer.

Saturday, I had the pleasure of enjoying free and fantastic food, meet some awesome people, and ride a boat that was a house.

Obviously, every day isn't that busy, but if there is one thing that keeps me coming back to my job, it's the knowledge that I'm going to be doing something different, learning something new, every freaking day.

I mean...how awesome is that?

Some people are happy to stick with an office job, they like the comfort of having a job with specific hours and great pay, don't get me wrong, there are moments I'm jealous. I would love to be able to go to a class at the gym right after work at 5:30, I would love to be making considerably more than I'm making - I won't divulge, just know that one of my friends says I "work for peanuts" and another refers to my occupation, lovingly, as "slave labor" - but this is one of those jobs that I absolutely love.

I'm paid to tell stories.
I'm paid to go on adventures.
I'm paid to ask questions.
I'm paid to write.
I'm paid to read.
I'm paid to follow my dreams.

It really doesn't get much better than that.

Best Day Ever

I know the year is fresh, but 10 days in and it's already taking major dumps on 2012...let me explain.

1. Pollen* is on my car. Some people may view this as a terrible thing, but ma'ams and sirs....let me be crystal clear: spring is a'coming. YES LAWD.


There is nothing I miss more than wearing my shorts and a tee shirt, or better yet, dresses...without leggings, and feeling perfectly warm. Oh, sweet glorious spring time bring spring break craziness, bikini time, and plenty of other great things my way.

I. Am. Elated.

Last year this time? I was in New Jersey - nothing wrong with NJ, I love the state, but it was considerably colder...and you can't really compete with weather in the 70s if you're in New Jersey right now. That's just a fact.

*That is not my car...I would never let the pollen get that thick.

2. Justin Timberlake is back in the recording studio. I'm sorry, what was that sound? Oh, just my dreams coming true.

Don't judge me for my adoration of this dude. He was only my biggest crush OF ALL TIME. He's probably why I am the way I am, and by golly, I do love the way I am.

So, there's that.

Last year this time? I don't know what was going on with Timberlake nor do I remember what was going on with music, but what I do know is that I was probably silently weeping in some way because I needed his music back in my life. I was probably listening to Justified in my car.

3. January 30, 2013. I know this isn't for another 20 days, but today it really hit me that I am this close to reaching the one-year mark on my contract with my current company. So what does that mean?  

ASHLEY GETS VACATION TIME.

It's only 10 days, but I'm frantically going through my calendar planning. I've already crossed out all the dates for sweeps, the one time you will get every show on TV putting out new shows and when news stations do a ridiculous amount of stories that are longer than normal to try and pull viewers in, also known as the only time that I, as a reporter, cannot take time off.

That being said, I'm making tons of plans for this year and part of it will mean a lot of change for my life.

So where will these 10 days going to be spent? Probably LA at some point, definitely back at Bonnaroo, obviously spending some time with my family, and if all goes well, most of this travel will be happening before August.

Last year this time? I was also just finding out about tentatively getting my current job...I was absolutely elated but I was also coming to terms with the fact that I was uprooting my entire life and I had no idea where I was going to live or how I was going to pay for anything. It was definitely a bittersweet moment but now that I'm coming up on a year, it's definitely a big deal for me. I feel much more confident in who I am and what I'm doing now.

Let's just say, this year is going to be a big one for me. I've already decided, I have committed to that thought and I will NOT let anything stand in my way.

Troubleshooting

There are days when everything is going right, like - absolutely, freaking perfect...couldn't be better...and then boom. Something happens that just sets you off, and it could be the tiniest thing and suddenly your perfect day is the worst day ever.

We're just fickle like that.

Anyway, today has been really good.

• I did something I hated (spin class) and came out victorious, didn't even have any pain in my rear until about an hour ago! Whoop, my body is learning. 
• I finished one book yesterday (How to Be Single // Liz Tuccillo: don't judge me, I just happened to find it in a pile of books while moving some of my junk and decided to read it...it was...pleasant I suppose, but a quick read - SHEESH.)
• I picked 3 new books to read: The Red Tent // Anita Diamant, The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Society // Mary Ann Shaffer & Annie Barrows, and Walking with the Wind: A Memoir of the Movement // John Lewis (super excited to read this one!!)
• I got a Goodreads account - finally.
• I got paaaaaaid...
• ...which means I started my saving plan! (ie. taking out a set amount of cash to last me the next 2 weeks - hope it's enough - and then leave my debit card far, far away so I will value the little bit of money I have and save up.)

So all in all, it was a good day, nothing necessarily spectacular, but definitely a good enough day for me to come home with a smile on my face ready to relax at home.

But then I got home, and my Apple TV wasn't working for the second or third day in a row. It won't connect to my iTunes or to the internet so I'm practically distraught because I can't watch anything on TV because I got rid of cable in 2012.  For the record, I'm not complaining about that, that was definitely one of my better decisions of the year.

Anyway, that goes to show you, it's the little things that get you. 

I was ready to throw a fit after multiple things that I tried to do didn't fix the stupid little box that allows me to watch all the shows I miss because I got rid of cable to have a cheaper bill. So, in order to get my priorities in line I came here so I could look at all the things that made me happy today in list format...things that I could just stew on and think about because being upset with my AppleTV isn't going to fix it...I don't know what will, but what I DO know is that the time I just spent sucking my teeth and rolling my eyes and stomping my feet would have been much better used curled up in a book.

Or next to my computer watching whatever I can't watch on there right here on Hulu.

Small miracles, y'all.

Thanks for listening.

Unexpected surprises

I've never known much about my parent's relationship - I never asked too many questions. I know my mother had me in college, that my biological father, E, wasn't ready and that she raised me in an amazing fashion. I know that at some point she says she was thinking about what she wanted from a man and determined that my dad, A, was the best fit...and he told her she would have to wait. He was going through flight school and she agreed.

And now they're married.

And absolutely in love with each other.

For years A said he would never get a facebook account, he felt it was invasive and that people who had them just shared too much information, but as my mother and younger sister hopped on board, eventually he felt the pressure and caved in.

Now I'm seeing a side of my dad I've never seen before.

To be clear, it's not that my dad isn't romantic or that he lacked affection in the past, I just never was around to see it. But after being on facebook less than a week, I'm seeing things I never saw before.

For example, up until ...maybe a couple...oh...hours ago I never saw my dad smile for a picture with his teeth showing. Ever.

Tonight, my father is taking my mother out on a date. I know this because he posted about it on Facebook. My dad. Smiling. On Facebook. Bragging about how he's going on a date with his wife.

I was floored.

I'm not sure why this caught me by surprise, maybe because I'm not accustomed to my dad being so showy about love or maybe it's just because when I think about my parents the only dynamic that comes to mind is football season: my mom's an Eagles fan, my dad's a Cowboy's fan - it would suffice to say it gets ugly.

That being said, I love being able to see it. I love being surprised by the things my parents and friends do to make others know they are appreciated and loved.

So, today...don't take someone for granted. Love them, hug them, tell them you care...not because tomorrow they might be gone, but because they matter to you in that moment.

And so it begins

For some reason, coming into 2013 didn't have the same excitement the other years have had in the past...maybe it's because I have a new understanding of what a new year means. People give so much significance to this idea of having a chance to have a new beginning, a new start, as if they couldn't do it at any other time.

That sounds so cynical and pessimistic, doesn't it? Yeesh...what has 2012 done to me? I could have sworn that this time last year, I was a much more cheerful person, but this time last year I was in a very different spot. I was close to family, I kind of had friends, and even though there wasn't really anyone that I had anything serious with, though there was someone in the picture, I at least had the distractions of a big city to keep me sustained.

Things have changed, so very much.

To say that 2012 was a wash wouldn't be an accurate portrayal of the year either. I mean, I moved away from the cold and back to Florida, I made trips to see friends, went to my first music festival, got the job I've always wanted, but oddly enough, I'm not happy.

I think I never let that thought really sink in. We spend so much time saying it's not okay to be unhappy or lonely, but it's just a natural part of life. In the same way that you won't be good at everything you do, you will fail, you will be bad at something, you will drop the ball in the most humiliating fashion and sometimes everyone will see - but it's only bad if you choose to stay there...there's nothing wrong with addressing it.

I came into 2013 with a smile on my face, but also with the knowledge that there are things I want to change. I know that I have picked my motto for the year, which hopefully will stick for the rest of my life. It's more of an idea than a motto, realistically speaking, the idea that in all that I do, I will commit. When things get hard, I will simply go harder. That's all...and that's with everything in my life.

From my relationship with God to this blog to learning to play guitar. I have a bunch of things that I've just half done, half committed to and this year, I'm devoted to making the most of my time and the most of my life.

I know I have a lot to look forward to, but most of all, I can look forward to 2013 being significantly better than 2012 on the premise that I will fight for it to be better, in every way. Does that mean that I will get everything right? No, and that's something I will have to come to accept...it's not about being right, it's not about being perfect, it's about fighting, persevering in the face of defeat and that is something I can do and will do.

So, 2013...I hope you're as ready for me as I am for you.