Good, Bad, Ugly: How do you adult?

I've had an amazing March. I've seen family and friends, went on vacation, ate good food for free, had some awkward and hilarious encounters, and got some amazeballs gear...but I also got some insight.

This month (like almost every month since graduating college) has re-taught me multiple lessons. Things that I thought I had mastered, I saw turned on their head which in turn made me have to react a bit differently.

One of my closest friends since graduation made her way to PCB this weekend and we had a long chat with one of our mutual reporter friends about how difficult the transition to adult life is.

"I mean, how do you adult?" DP said while we laughed over wine and beer.

It's a question we ended up mulling over for a couple hours, at first complaining about how little we truly knew about being an adult, then blaming our parents for not telling us more than "you better enjoy your youth while you have it" and how college would be the "best four years of our life," finally we came to an agreement that it's just something that you grow into, though some of us were doing better than others.

#Redbox52: One for all

It took me a week - a full week - to watch this week's movie, which is why the review is coming on a Thursday versus Monday. So...this week's movie:

I can't really explain why this movie took so long for me to watch, it wasn't just that it clocked in at almost 3 hours, it wasn't that it was a boring or a dry movie, and it's not that the topic matter wasn't compelling, but it was painful to watch.

Coming from a military family, the events of September 11th and the aftermath hurt. No other way to put it. My father is currently a Lt. Col. in the Army and now works in one of the big buildings and if something like this were to happen again...I don't think I would ever want to think about something like that.

I remember when this movie first was advertised being incredibly pissed off that someone would make a movie about it in the first place. I was frustrated, disgusted, aggravated that they would take something like this and make it into entertainment: but the truth of the matter is that's just what Hollywood does. They take things, often times things we don't necessarily wish to bring up in everyday conversation and make it a topic again.

The first hour or so, or at least the first bit I watched, made me not want to watch the entire thing. Seeing torture is not something that I enjoy, but as I continued to sit through all the pieces of the movie, bit by bit, I began to enjoy it more.

The characters, watching them go through the motions of dealing with what was happening, the obvious stress of not knowing whether or not you were going to accomplish your mission, the constant doubts, the constant setbacks, all leading up to one triumphant moment, the story we all thought we knew so well.

Overall, I enjoyed the movie. It felt good to watch it, felt incredible to have a woman be the person that figured it out, that had the heart to go with her gut at all times, to follow something with a steadfast endurance that the movie couldn't even fully capture if we were to be honest.

I mean - tell me - when was the last time you dedicated every aspect of your life for nearly a decade to one thing and one thing only? I can't think of anything that I've even dedicated to fully for a year

All that being said, watching this movie wasn't easy...watching this movie hurt, because in the process, I found myself seeing things from an interesting perspective.

There's a scene where the main character, Maya, is attacked. A couple of guys try to shoot up her car, kill her, and they're unsuccessful. It made me think about how things are framed because to us, she's a hero, but to them she's a threat to their life - a terrorist. I always stop and wonder how we as a country are perceived by outsiders. Are we these terrible people that constantly invade in places we don't belong? Are we people with good intentions? Or are we simply the enemy?

I let the thoughts go and continued on with my day, and eventually the movie, but now I can't help but think about this in personal terms: how we always see ourselves as the hero but never as the antagonist.

Anyway, if you haven't seen the movie, I suggest you do. It's interesting, insightful, and opens your eyes to not just what happened that day, but how much was lost and learned along the way.

#Redbox 52: Power of friendship

I'm so happy that I made the choice to do this whole, movie thing, because I'm getting to see movies I never would have seen otherwise. For example, this week's movie:

The Intouchables is a French comedy-drama that became the second biggest box office hit in France and voted the cultural event of 2011 - to put it simply, it was quite a big deal...and to think I almost passed it over to pick The Sessions, d'ah well, thank you dear CVS employees for casually helping me make this decision: it was a good one.

It isn't hard to find stories that embody friendship, but this bond is one that is rather peculiar. For some critics, the movie bears an extreme resemblance to Driving Miss Daisy and while I can understand the comparisons, I think it's a bit deeper than that.

 The story begins at present day but then jumps to a flashback to explain how the two characters, Phillipe and Driss, ended up together. As the story progresses you get to see how the two become friends with quick wit, constantly jabbing at one another, and growing together. Driss develops a better understanding of art, picks ups painting, and Phillipe learns how to truly appreciate music, the feelings it can bring forth. However, as great as it is to see the characters open up and grow, my favorite parts of the movie are the simple acts of tenderness that push it forward.

Vacation all I ever wanted.

One of the first things I celebrated in January was one year on the job which meant getting 10 glorious days of vacation - which meant I was using them as best I could. This week, I finally got a chance to start enjoying my earned time - and Lord knows I needed it.

Indian Shores

I've spent the past 3 days between Indian Shores and Clearwater - all of 20 to 30 minutes apart - with my grandparents. I haven't seen them in 13 months and this has to be one of the most relaxing times I've had as of late, watching the sunset from the condo, finishing 2 books, eating yummy food and seeing the Phillies...lose, ahh well, you can't win 'em all.

That said, being with my grandparents has been one of the biggest pleasures I've experienced in a long time. No one has the ability to make me laugh like they do and to hear them talk about the past just blows me away.

This trip carried conversations that breached all sorts of topics, but lingered on talks pertaining to love and my career - both topics I'm incredibly passionate about. While the love talk was more in jest, the career one took a turn for the more serious as we discussed what I want for my life.

My grandfather worked in the journalism industry 39 years for money and many more just for the privilege of it. Before I got in the industry, I talked to him about it, the challenges of the world and how to best put it and this weekend he explained it in a different way.

One of the most frustrating things about working in news is the limiting nature of it all. I was looking at the skeleton of a 30 minute show and realized that when you take into account the 4 minutes of sports and various breaks for weather and obviously the commercials that pay the bills, the news is literally 8 minutes.

Eight minutes.

All of the news of the day boiled down to 8 measly minutes.

I began complaining to him about it, how things would be so much easier if there was just more time and he told me the same thing he always told his students, "if you can't explain your story in one sentence, you don't know your story." As our talk continued, we began to break down things about how things have changed in the media, how technology has moved things forward and my grandfather brought things to a different perspective.

In the beginning was the Word.

That was it, it was his way of explaining the importance of words. As we stayed on that topic we delved into how there would never quite be enough time and the importance of measuring our words and it got me thinking about, well, words...being concise, learning how to express myself fully - so I decided to use his words as a challenge. A challenge to make sure all of my words are what I meant through and through.

So I issue the same challenge to you!

#Redbox52: Feel like a hero

I've decided to call this movie thing I'm doing the Redbox 52 since every movie I'm reviewing will be a new release from the Redbox. So, what was today's movie...

Normally when I think of police movies or a lot of different action movies, I assume that the plot will be lackluster, the acting will be meh and I'm really in it for the bangs. 

This movie was not that.

I was floored by the movie because it was really, really good. I enjoyed the dialogue between characters, the relationships that you saw grow, and found myself getting almost teary eyed as I finished it up.

What made this movie great was that it didn't focus on all the different relationships in the movie, it focused primarily on the partnership between police officers Brian Taylor and Miguel Zavala. We see these two characters go through plenty together and watch their bond as brothers on the force grow. 

That in and of itself was probably the most surprising thing about this film. When I put the movie in, I wasn't expecting to be blown away, I was expecting to see a cop movie where the good guys win, the bad guys go down, car chases, gun fights, the whole 9 yards, and to an extent I got that, but on top of that I got a story of two men going through it.

There are plenty of laughs and the ability to watch the characters grow in their personal relationships as they go through different stages in their life.

Behind my badge is a heart like yours. I bleed, I think, I love, and yes I can be killed. And although I am but one man, I have thousands of brothers and sisters who are the same as me.

The movie starts with a monologue from Brian Taylor and it tugged at my heart strings. Working in news has caused me to meet a lot of police officers which ultimately means that I associate each of the characters with real people. So of course, I had to call them up to see how they felt about the movie and admit that yes I did cry when blahblahblahnotgoingtoruinitblahblahblah happened or I laughed extra hard when soandso said suchandsuchathing...but more importantly, it made me appreciate what they do  and the sacrifices they make every day.

Anyway, the movie is good, especially as someone who doesn't believe in this whole screw the police mentality, it lets you see things from their perspective...I definitely would recommend it to any and everyone. 

Weigh your options

I love movies. I love watching them, reading about them, reading the books their based on, I just love everything involved in the creative process of making a movie. So, I'm starting something that will let me do both things that I love: movies and writing. Every week, a new movie...so we're starting...today!

Movie 1: Celeste and Jesse Forever

I have no problem admitting that I kinda sorta adore romantic comedies, but I think the best thing that's happened to romance movies recently is their decision to try and be more realistic.

We grew up in an era where movies were made to showcase this unbelievable love. I mean, I love The Notebook as much as any normal woman does and A Walk to Remember - I'm shaking my head with my eyes closed just thinking about how romantic everything was, even Titanic had the epic love that endured. When you look at most love related stories, there's a tendency for things to just...be so blissful and the only thing that ever separates them is death.

What a drag that in our society, that just doesn't seem to be the case anymore.

...and it looks like quite a few movies are catching on. The idea that art is a direct reflection of society at the time is showing pretty hardcore. The thing I loved about Celeste and Jesse Forever is that it never claimed or tried to be some awesome love story. It was actually a story that told what happens when life happens - to a degree at least.

You have two people that were in love, deeply in love, and that just didn't work out, but they have this great amazing friendship that everyone thinks is kinda weird (totally been in their shoes before, I mean we weren't in love or married but...you get the point...sorta) and it's endearing.

I don't want to spoil the movie, but I think what I enjoyed most about it was how it didn't try to speed things up. It let you see things as they happened and it was a movie that was easy to relate to.

I think if there was one moment in the movie that kinda stuck with me it was when Celeste is out and has this interaction with a friend:

Celeste: "He's just going about everything so wrong."
Paul: "You want to be right or you want to be happy?"

It hit home...this battle with always wanting to be right and the sacrifice we make sometimes in our efforts to be right thereby throwing our happiness to the wind when we're faced with a disagreement.

Falling into place

I've been in a really angsty on here lately and that's just uncomfortable for me to re-read if I'm going to be honest, haha. There have been several factors that have played into this, but if there's one thing I do know, after everything seems to be in ruins, things start to pick back up for a variety of reasons.

First, once things have sucked so epically, you're more motivated to do what's best for you - what you truly want and desire and as someone who has chosen to fight for her personal peace, I think it's just another step in the right direction.

I mean, look at this face - how happy am I?

Second, I've been blessed with the opportunity to do a bunch of stuff I want to do. Saw Melanie Fiona and Kendrick Lamar perform, had some awesome heart-to-hearts with my friends in Gainesville, and currently I have one of my close friends from school sleeping in my apartment while I work.

Speaking of that, I can't say enough how grateful I am to have J here with me right now. She's one of my more grounded friends, out in law school preparing to take over the world.

The other night we had a long discussion about friendship and life, how things have changed so much over the course of the 2 years that we've been separated and the best part about the whole thing was how natural it felt, like the 2 years weren't even there.

One of the things I'm eternally grateful for is friends that are worth fighting for. There aren't many that fall in that category, but those that do have a very special place in my heart - because I know they'd fight for me too. Sometimes we spend so much time giving our energy to people and things that don't deserve to have it and as I go through this spiritual reawakening I'm seeing a lot of things more clearly - crazy what a week of hard thinking can do to you.

I'm excited about the changes that are coming forth, spiritually, emotionally, mentally...the whole 9 yards and I feel like in the next few months I'll be able to make so many positive changes in my life, I'll look back at this and wonder what took me so long to commit to happiness.