December 9, 2011, I sent the email that would change my life and begin my career as a reporter. Since then, I've packed up my car, moved to a new city, met amazing people, challenged myself emotionally, spiritually, physically and financially while pushing myself to new boundaries mentally.
It has been tiring, exhilarating, hilarious and amazing...and now I'm sitting here waiting for what comes next. I know in my heart that this month has a lot in store for me, there is the potential for a lot of change to occur in the next 3 weeks and I'm terrified but absolutely looking forward to what it could mean.
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I've had the nickname "Gimpy" for the past week after spraining my ankle and busting up my knee while going for a run (I wish I had a better story for my injuries, but alas, it was not meant to be) last Saturday. This comes at the heels of a possible move to a new opportunity - ie. the worst possible time to ever be injured. In addition to that, having a job that requires lugging around a camera and a tripod means that being on crutches is out the question if I intend to actually make any money, so it goes without saying that this week has been interesting, especially when fueled by pain medication.
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I've recently been paying more attention to the emails I receive, especially from Danielle LaPorte. Recently she launched this thing called The Desire Map. I went to her site to read up on it a bit more and saw this:
What if, first, we got clear on how we actually wanted to feel in our life, and then we laid out our intentions? What if your most desired feelings consciously informed how you plan your day, your year, your career, your holidays - your life?
It got me thinking. Danielle's email talked about how she stopped pursuing goals and started pursuing her feelings - something that was recently plaguing my own mind. I've been feeling unfulfilled though I know I'm doing something that I've wanted all my life. On Facebook, I put up a status quoting Alain de Botton from an article on BrainPickings:
We suck in messages from everything from the television to advertising to marketing, etcetera. These are hugely powerful forces that define what we want and how we view ourselves. What I want to argue is not the we should give up on our ideas of success but that we should make sure that they are our own. We should focus in on our ideas and make sure that we own them, that we're truly the authors of our own ambitions. Because it's bad enough not getting what you want, but it's even worse to have an idea of what it is you want and find out at the end of the journey that it isn't, in fact, what you wanted all along.
It's odd how other people's words can really click with what's going on in your own mind, so I've decided to pursue my feelings fully, to pay attention to what it is that I really, truly want and then do what gives me that. What do I want to feel? It's not enough to say I want to be happy, what does happiness look like to me? What do I do that makes me feel complete? What do I do that makes me laugh, enjoy life - those are the things worth pursuing.
Giving makes me feel good, reading, watching movies, learning new songs, eating healthy, working out, talking to people about their own lives - all things that make me happy and all things that I can do. Even in my career as a reporter, I can use that as an avenue to give to people, to learn about them and help them move forward.
These messages were like a divine intervention that said, your passion doesn't have to exclude what you do in your day to day life - they can match.
Now comes the fun part of making it happen.
