Wisdom from Toronto

Happy Tuesday! If you're a normal person, you're almost halfway through the week, if you're me, or anyone with an abnormal schedule that is the same as mine (lol) today is your Thursday which gives Wednesday/Hump Day even MORE joy because it's my Friday.

I'm dancing in my seat.

Anyway, a couple years ago, I made my way to Toronto for one of my most memorable summer experiences yet, Caribana. While the memories there were spectacular (it seriously is something I must do again) it also brought a couple unexpected ah-ha moments in the form of an art display…and also in just the city itself.

The display was prints and quotes from Andrew Zuckerman's book, Wisdom. I don't remember where I was in Toronto at the time, but I am eternally grateful that I made the decision to walk into wherever I was and take in what was there for me to see. I have a few favorites (of course) but I had to share my top two with you.

I don't think there's anything more meaningful (aside from Scripture) to my life than these two things. The admission that the heart is what matters most of all (actually something that coincides with faith) and the idea that there are only two stages in life, growth or decay. Both of these things are applicable no matter where you are in life, the state of your heart will change everything in your life, what you value, what you care for, what you chase after, be it money or righteousness. The idea that standing still is decay is something that some people don't always want to recognize: becoming complacent, being absolutely satisfied with exactly where you are is almost the same as giving up - because there's always something more, whether it's getting better at your tasks or simply giving more of yourself to it or to others. There's always room for growth and the desire to see that happen in our lives separates those that achieve greatness in their life from those that will settle into their comfort zone.

As a final note: Toronto, you have my heart. I will have to come back, because any place that puts ads like this one on the walls is a place that I want to be. 

It's my hope that words of inspiration will soon be plastered all over the place. Words that encourage people to love one another, to give to one another, to care for their fellow man not expecting anything in return…to truly make man kind.

Have a happy day you guys - SMILE AT SOMEONE! 

An ode to my first home.

Humble beginnings, man I tell ya.

For me, moving into my first "home" or at least my first apartment was a big step. I've spent my entire life surrounded by people at basically all parts of my life and now, for a little over a year, I've been alone.

This weekend was one of the most stressful and emotional times I've experienced while living here. Who knew being alone could be so painful and lonely? Not me.

I've lived the majority of my life moving around, making new friends, and for some reason, I thought this move would be just like all the rest, a standard, pick up and go. I understood at my core that I wouldn't know anyone in the area, that it would basically be college all over again, but this was different than college all over again, because in college we're all alone, we're all starting somewhere new and while some of us came in with friends, many of us didn't know that many and we were all wide open for new people to invade our most private and precious spaces.

It's different now.

This home will be one of the hardest things to leave once it's time to go. Sure, it's a tiny one bedroom apartment, but it's my first place where I had to struggle with some inconvenient truths, like the fact that there is a whole lot of month when you're in your first job. That sometimes, the best thing you can do is sit on a couch and cry. That painting can be very therapeutic…and so can cooking when it comes out right.

In this apartment, I got a full grasp of the kindness of others. At least 2/3 of the things that are in my apartment were given to me and while the walls may be bare, the love that fills this place does so much more. In this apartment, I've had people come, pour out their hearts and grow close to one another, it's here that I truly learned compassion, it's here that I truly experienced transparency.

It was here that I cried out to God, screamed about life, fought with Him about what I believed and why I was here. Tried to uncover what I truly cared about and what I thought was right. It was here that He met me and taught me so much more about love and acceptance, mercy and faith. It was here that I recommitted, here that I sat and read my Bible and journaled. It was here that I changed.

This small tender space has seen me grow in ways that others couldn't. It's watched me learn how to organize my bills, clean, play guitar, and learn to live without…and to be content in that.

Home sweet home.

In my short 23 years of life, I've been unsure of many things. I wasn't positive that I would be able to do this, but I knew that I didn't have a choice and that when it came down to it, I would have to buck up and face the situations given to me. Moving to Panama City Beach with a laptop, a suitcase full of clothes, and an air mattress was one of the boldest moves of my life. It had one guarantee: an opportunity to follow my dream, but nothing else. It did not promise me friends that would be like family, it didn't promise me happiness, it didn't promise me fulfillment, it promised a chance…so I took it.

And for that Panama City Beach will always have a piece of my heart.

The beauty of muchness

Happy, happy Friday. What a week it has been, full of calm moments and a couple incredibly exciting ones that I hope to be able to write about later, but as it stands, the timing simply isn't right! However there are some things that simply cannot be held under wraps forever…one of them being the most charming of mentors that I've gained while living in Panama City Beach: Ms. Eugenia - henceforth and forever more known as Mama E.

Last night over homemade tortilla soup garnished with Cooler Ranch Doritos and shredded cheese we talked about any and everything before I had a miniature revelation about my nature.

I have an adorable amount of muchness in my 5'7" frame. The term, muchness made popular by Alice in Wonderland has been defined officially by another blogger as this:

The innocence and imagination that appears in the hearts of young children. As the children grow older, they become more mature and gain responsibilities.

 

What exactly does it mean to lose your muchness? Is it simply growing older and losing who you were as a child? Is it coming to terms that reality isn't as great as we thought it would be when we originally said we couldn't wait to be grown-ups? I don't know what expectations I had as a child, I knew I wanted to be great, I knew I wanted to have a distinct effect on the world, but most importantly, I never wanted to lose my heart. I never wanted to lose my compassion for people, because even at a young age, I knew of the importance of giving to others and loving them with all you had.

As I've said multiple times (I'm pretty sure I mentioned it yesterday now that I think about it) my job has given me the opportunity of a lifetime: to spend my days meeting people, traveling, writing, and, most importantly, learning. For that reason - truthfully just that last one is enough - I have maintained my muchness, kept it at a distinct level of childlike wonder because there is always so much more to learn.

When Alice went back down the rabbit hole a second time, the Mad Hatter makes it very clear that she is not as she once was, she has changed and in that change she has lost the ability to fulfill her purpose. Every now and then, I wonder if I've dialed back my muchness, if I've lost important qualities that made me who I was a child. I believe that a big part of my muchness growing up was found in hope and being an adult has stripped away some of my naive beliefs about the world, the things I learn many times has caused me to lose faith in the goodness of people. Thankfully, over the past year, I've met a number of individuals that have shown me despite the uglies in the world, there is still many desirable things that breed positivity in this world.

Honestly, it's a scary thought, growing older and losing the very essence of who you were, or who you are. So, I've decided on my days off to explore my muchness…to go on adventures, to explore and be as childlike as possible because, if I were to lose all my muchness, I would lose a ginormous part of me…and it's a part that I don't think I ever want to be without!

Life comes at you fast

This is me in a state of bliss. No, seriously. I love my job.

You know what insanity is? Realizing that in 5 days, you'll officially be two years out of college, in your dream job, living on the beach. Honestly, it's the best kind of insanity there is out there and every day I sit back and thank God for the blessing of being where I am in life.

I know I talk about how thankful I am for the opportunities I have, how grateful I am for a chance to learn every day at my job, to not be stuck behind a desk 8 hours of the day, but sometimes I really have to let it truly sink in that I have the best job on the planet for me.

However, like I've said in that past, there are some definite downsides to this and one of those downsides came up in the struggle of covering the Boston Marathon bombings.

Breaking news is a big deal in so many ways to people who watch the news but even more so for those that "make" the news. The world we live in is so different than it ever was and I'm still waiting for television news to figure out it's place with the scope of what viewers expect changing so much.

The other day I had a gchat conversation with a friend of mine who said he didn't understand why reporters from CNN didn't get any closer to where police were. Earlier last week, I had another friend comment on how slow television stations were at reporting the facts and how he get most of his information from blogs and Reddit on the tragic situation. Then another friend made her own statements about how the news is potentially putting our police officers in danger for reporting things they're hearing over the scanners and whatnot.

Okay.

First, reporting things heard over the scanners is just a huge no. There's that. There's no if's, and's, or but's about that. Period.

Now that that's out the way, I feel like it's important for my industry to take a step back and look at everything that happened wrong in our coverage. I've learned that as much as I want to be first on a story, it's 1 MILLION TIMES more important to be accurate…but how do we reconcile that in a time when many of our viewers think they're entitled to information?

Well…I have one opinion to the whole thing. Viewers are entitled to one thing and one thing only: facts. As a reporter my job isn't to speculate, it's not to make assumptions about anything, but to investigate and get to the bottom of the issue. There's a reason reporters prefer to get emotional sound bites from people versus facts: we can say the facts, I'm not here to represent my subject's feelings, plain and simple.

You can't compare television news to a blog because, generally speaking, most people spouting things off on the Internet aren't triple checking their sources for accuracy. We aren't one in the same, so - to all my friends asking us to stoop to that level - well, you see how that ends up. To my other friend that suggested we get closer, well…after being told by police for lesser stories to back up from a scene or move further away from a location - for my own safety - I will just say: no.

My job isn't to change my standards for reporting to satisfy the viewer. My job is to get facts from multiple sources...or better yet, get the source saying it on camera to attribute what's being said, that way it doesn't blow up in my face should it be wrong.

If CNN had been right with their exclusive report, everyone would know and everyone would probably move on from it, but because they were wrong, it won't go away so easily; people may not remember who reported it first, but they will remember who reported it wrong.

Choosing your battles

Every day has it's own challenges.

I promise, this is one of the first things that goes through my mind as I type in the code to go into work every single day, that every day has it's separate challenge and they will come in various forms. One day it may be a confrontation with a coworker, the next it could just be a story that doesn't have many visual elements, and other days it's just a lack of motivation…but the most important thing that I have to try and focus on is that each day will have it's own battle so dragging my feelings about former battles rather than picking up the lessons along the way will do nothing to help in the fight.

Breathe in, breathe out.

The beauty of not letting every tiny fight turn into a big one that becomes a burden is simple: you live better. You're happier and have a tendency to be more aware of what's going on around you and what situations to simply avoid.

I have a problem with picking my battles wisely because I have an even more annoying problem with wanting to be right. It's not so much that I want to be right for gloating or to make someone else wrong, but I want to be right because I don't like being in the wrong. I'm almost positive I can find a way to justify any action that I take, and while some days I can be honest and say the action - or lack of action - was because I wasn't didn't do what I should have done, other days, I have a reason…and frankly, my reasons are generally pretty logical, but if there's one thing I've learned from working in news: logic doesn't always win.

Crazy. I know.

Sometimes protocol is more important than anything else and while it may not seem to be the best, it's not the worker bee's call to make. I'm learning more and more every day and it seems that being a worker bee has never been my strong suit, that said I don't think it has to be for me to be successful, I believe being creative is an important asset to have in your back pocket, but when your creativity gets in the way of your productivity, that's never a positive, and then maybe you've got to reevaluate your priorities.

You live and you learn, oh Alanis Morissette, how you do speak the truth on this warm, sunny morning.

P.S. Jagged Little Pill was/is and probably always will be one of my favorite albums and has been since 1995 - let's not talk about a 6 year old singing "All I Really Want" like it's a life anthem.

Catch up!

Ahh, it's been over a week since I last posted. Life has been so intense this past week, a lot of work with everything that happened in Boston, a lot of change, a few revelations that have put me on track for some immense personal growth, a newly clean apartment (if you've ever been inside my apartment you need to come back - no seriously, it's that clean) and a lot of getting my life together - at least getting organized.

So what has the past week been in a nutshell?

Police car rides.
Perks of Being a Wallflower. (#Redbox52 coming on that soon)
Netflix - which means House of Cards.
Cooking.
Motorcycles.
Jazz/Cajun/Parrothead Festival.
Jurassic Park in 3D.
Brunch.
Prayer.

And what have I learned?

The best thing to do with a moment isn't to try and capture it, it's to grow in it, revel in it, embrace it, live it. Too often we get so caught up trying to get something on film for Instagram or Vine or Twitter or Facebook or Tumblr - or here - that we miss out. Obviously it's not just that, I mean, I don't think there's ever been a photo taken that truly captures the joy of a moment unless it's taken at the perfect moment and those moments can be so hard to catch.

That being said, I'm taking a challenge to stay off of Facebook and Twitter for at least a month. Twitter won't be so hard, Facebook is a major time waster and so addictive (I mean, I have to see so-and-so's wedding photos and this couple just had a baby and I love reliving college through my former resident's current adventures!) but sometimes you need to take a step back.

Maybe it's just me, but I have a major perception issue sometimes. I seem to forget that when I'm on a social network, more likely than not, it's because I'm bored…and don't you know, when you're bored at work and all you're seeing are pictures of someone's awesome honeymoon or their late spring break getaway, it's very easy to get disenchanted with whatever it is that you're doing.

So, in order to have a more perfect outlook, I'm catching up on my life by tuning out the chatter of everyone else's.

If I need to know what's going on in someone's life, the best thing to do is probably make a phone call anyway!

Happy Tuesday y'all.

Tackling the "Accidental Racist"

Alright. I'm going to be completely frank when I say this: I enjoy country music. I do. It's a recent thing that happened when I moved to the Panhandle. I'd also like to add that this song is a very good representation of everything this area represents to me - don't let our sandy white beaches fool you! While spring break and summer vacation bring my dearly beloved northerners to this area, the vast majority of the people who live here are alllllll about southern pride.

If you haven't heard the song, you can listen to it here.

Now I can tell you that if Brad Paisley had done this song by himself...it would be a hit. IT WOULD. Country music has a reputation of saying whatever it wants just as brashly as rap or R&B, but they do it in a way that makes their listeners smile. While Miguel might sing "How Many Drinks" in his song, Joe Nichols will put it - jokingly of course - as "Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off," you see what I mean? It's all the same, they're just better at making it sound nice and not predatory.

The basic thing to remember with country music is that these musicians get away with a lot. I mean...have you heard Jason Aldean rap? It's painful...but once he starts to sing, I can forgive his completely idiotic decision to even attempt to rap.

So...about this song.

This is not the first song to tackle "southern pride" realistically, if Paisley had set out to just make the contemporary southern white man's anthem, this would be it. You would hear guys in cowboy boots and ten gallon hats telling their black friends that "Paisley gets them," more likely than not. How do I know that? Because while everyone that I'm friends with in the black community is up in arms, I've heard quite a few people that are actually happy to hear it right in Bay County.

Paisley takes an incredibly huge topic and boils it down into a song that, without LL Cool J, would probably just be background music...but then he added LL Cool J to the mix...and that is where the problem started.

Whether it's LL's terrible rapping or his off the cuff "adlibs" and rap lyrics, the song, already destined to make plenty of people cringe, goes on a downward spiral and doesn't stop.

I want you to get paid but be a slave I never could
Feel like a new fangled Django, dodging invisible white hoods 

RIP Robert E. Lee but I've gotta thank Abraham Lincoln for freeing me, know what I mean 

If you don't judge my do-rag, I won't judge your red flag.
If you don't judge my gold chains, I'll forget the iron chains.

There aren't words that I could use to describe just how...I literally, I can't come up with words to describe how I feel about LL Cool J's participation in this. It's a situation where, I'm at the intersection of complete-and-utter-shock and absolute confusion.

WHO TOLD YOU THIS WAS A GOOD MOVE LL?
WHO LIED TO YOU AND HATES YOU SO MUCH?

Whether its just the fact that he's a terrible rapper or the way he took something so big and turned it into...I don't even know what to call it. All I can say is the minute I heard him start talking, I wanted it to end. It being, the song, his career, his participation in music as a whole, his acting career too...I don't understand. To take something this big and trivialize it, make it into a punchline...I'm lost.

Is Paisley to blame? Of course he is...it's his song, but that's country music for you - they're out here telling stories and whatnot and that's just how they work...but this new operation with all this hip-hop coming into play is not working. I'm not sure if it ever will, but if this is a sign of the times to come, I'm not pleased. The thing is, Paisley is speaking how he feels: if I were to tell you how many times I've had the conversation with someone from my church or in the community about the "red flag" and what it represents to them, I'm sure my black friends would recoil in horror, the same way I did when I used to see it plastered to back of pickup trucks in high school.

This is nothing new.

While it represents one thing to me, it represents something very different to them and while we will probably never see eye to eye on this, whatever Paisley and LL were trying to cook up to start the conversation was a bad move.

What do you think of "Accidental Racist" - am I being too critical?

Hump day happiness

Welcome to Wednesday! One of the best days of the week, if only because it reminds you that you're halfway through it, haha. I'm loving what I did last week on Wednesday, taking a breather, so let's get to it!

This week has been such an odd one with my schedule being all weird, but hey - I've got plenty to smile about and as my grandfather always says when I ask how he's doing: "I could complain, but what's the point of that?"

For now, here are the things bringing some major joy into my life right now.

1. If you follow me on Instagram, then you've seen this little beauty of mine! Yesterday I got my Crosley USB turntable and as excited as I was to get it, it also came with a twinge of disappointment since the needle was broken. Thankfully, Crosley has nice customer service and blahblahblah so I will be listening to that lovely record next week! Until then, I'll just bask in the wonderfulness of having the record player and a couple good things to look forward to next week.

2. This kinda ties in with the first one - I mean, duh - but Donna Summer was everything and a half. I'm so excited to finally be able to play this and after getting off the phone with my grandmother, I should be able to snag a few more awesome records for myself sooner than later.

3. Okay. This CD isn't new...but I recently got addicted to Two Door Cinema Club and Tourist History is honestly summer in audio form for me. I'm not even playing. I won't say how many times I've listened to this or how loud...but it would suffice to say that I'm sure my neighbors want to hit me. And I'm okay with that.

4. Look at that sunset. No seriously. Whenever my week is going sour, the best thing to do is just look at the sky because things like this blow my mind every time. The colors are just...I can't even tell you how happy I was to just snag this with my iPhone. I smile just looking at it.

5. Everyone has their favorite apps on the iPhone and personally, Solar is my favorite weather app because it's just so pretty. Really, it's all about aesthetics with this and just having it on my phone takes me to a calm place. Doesn't hurt that I got it for free either - normally it's paid! - so check it out if you're tired of the same ol' same weather apps.

6. On a limb I tried this Sambazon acai with blueberry and pomegranate. Umm, HELLO JOY. I need to grab more of this stuff so I can use it in my smoothies. I was sick the latter part of last week and I'm not saying this had anything to do with it, but I'm sure this combined with Mucinex and OJ certainly helped my cause since the workplace wasn't letting me have any extra days off!

So there you have it, my happy hump day! What's bringing smiles to your face this week? Share the joy! ;)

#Redbox52: The problem with feelings

Ahhh! Happy Monday! I hope that everyone's week is going well. Normally, Monday is my day off, but now that we have a couple people that have moved on to new television stations (one to Fort Myers, the other to Orlando - gonna miss 'em so much!) things have gotten a bit shaken up. Not to worry though, I'm working better than ever and happier in the past few weeks than I've been in a long time.

So, onto this week's #Redbox52, Killing The Softly:

First thoughts: good movie - a taaaad bit violent, but since I don't mind violence, it's alright by me. I can definitely say the best thing about this movie is the intentional use of news footage from the financial crisis of 2008 - it was literally brilliant. 

Or maybe I'm so used to movies just doing their own thing that when I see something done well, it just blows me away.

Anyway, it was a lot of fun to watch. The clips that were used were always placed against a scene that directly related to what was being said, I love that.

There was a lot of interesting dialogue in the movie and for some people that was a setback, but there were a few interactions that really got me going, one in particular was between Driver (Richard Jenkins) who works with the mafia as a middle man of sorts and Jackie Cogan (Brad Pitt) who is a hitman.

They're discussing a hit that needs to be made and Cogan goes into why he doesn't want to hit a particular target and gives a better understanding of the title of the movie.

"I like to kill them softly, from a distance, not close enough for feelings. Don't like feelings. Don't want to think about them."

It caught me off guard a bit once I understood what killing someone "softly" actually meant. After thinking it over, it brought to mind various interactions I had in the past with people on social networks, from Tumblr to Twitter, one of the great things was that you're able to make a connection with people, getting a glimpse into whatever parts of their life they're willing to expose.

The downside, of course, is that depending on what you put out there, you also are opening yourself up to a lot of criticism. In fact, I would go off on a limb and say that most interactions online whether it's commentary on a show or on an event happening in someone's life, what a celebrity is wearing or something happening in the news, since we don't directly know the people we can say whatever we want to, often without feeling any sort of remorse.

As someone who works in the news industry, one of my biggest fears is that one day, I will stop being able to relate to people, that I will eventually get desensitized to it all. Just yesterday I did a story about a 7-year-old who was mauled by 2 pitbull mix breeds that died and another story on a 90-year-old man who was murdered. A former coworker of mine once told me that one of the things that haunts him is the fact that when he would drive around town, the first thing he would remember is the stories he had done.

I drove around town a few weeks ago and realized, I was the same way. On one corner, a homeless person was found dead, on another, a manhunt for a robber that had guns and was taken down by dogs. It breaks my heart a little bit to think about how in just a matter of 1 year, I covered 3 or 4 stories about teenagers dying behind the wheel, far too many memorial services for young people who hadn't even gotten a chance to get to college, to live their lives to what we considered a full extent.

It hurts. On one hand, as a reporter, I don't want to relate, I don't want to have feelings about my stories because God knows they would haunt me...but on the other, to not have some sort of feeling about it all would make me less than a human. I don't know how reporters in the field, covering wars, genocide, sex slavery - it's one thing to do a long form documentary on it, but in news, it's often that you cover something for a day or two and then it's on to the next thing, no follow up, no seeing how things go later in life. It's a hard balance because if we stayed on one thing too long, the sad truth, is that most people wouldn't care...and I think that's probably what hurts the most.

#6wordpoems: there is beauty in being succinct

Last night, writer/poet/rapper/producer/teacher/amaze-balls-man (my personal opinion) Rafael Casal issued a challenge to his followers on Twitter and friends on Facebook and Instagram.

Write a 6 word poem.

Some people wrote phrases, made jokes, others really got to the heart of things. I decided I wanted to contribute as well.

"I am where He wants me." That was my 6 word poem and as I hit send it struck me how meaningful that phrase was to my life because it wasn't just a few words that made a good little poem, but it was a mentality that would be able to hold me afloat until it's time to move on to the next thing.

I am where He wants me.

The first time I heard the phrase was from my grandfather, it stuck with me. The idea that while I may not be completely happy with where I am, there was a reason that I wasn't moving, there was something I was supposed to be getting out of this. 

Graduating from college and not getting a job that I wanted for 9 months was a struggle for me. I debated quitting, going back into retail, or switching from a position in front of the camera to one behind it - and truthfully there was nothing wrong with any of those options had I ended up going with them, but there was a reason that I had to take some time to get to where I wanted while some of my friends seemed to get scooped up into their dream jobs much faster than I ever dreamed.

I am where He wants me.

It's a hard phrase to really live out sometimes. It's something I've gotten into the habit of saying whenever I get anxious about where I am or start to feel some pangs of jealousy that I'm not at my next thing yet. I've always been a bit preoccupied with my future and this phrase forces me to stop trying to envision what it is to come and focus on where I am now.

One of my close friends and I were having a conversation recently and he brought up being unhappy at his job - however, he wasn't unhappy because the job itself was bad, he was unhappy because of the attitude of his coworkers and management:

It's so metric driven and everyone is working for the next role, not to make sure the role they are in now is self-sustaining.

It was an interesting observation in a field that was completely the opposite of my own though we faced the same problems. It made me wonder what would happen if everyone stopped and made the decision to be the best at their current position, understanding that once they mastered it, they would have the ability to move on to something new, but in that moment, in that day, in that month, in that year - focus on doing the best they possibly could with what they had right then.

It really was a way of mastering the phrase in my work place. Now, I'm learning - slowly but surely - to live out this 6 word poem in every part of my life.

What are some 6 word poems, or really any phrases, that you found are good to live by? Leave 'em here!

Taking a breather

There are many topics that I would like to approach today, good and bad. From the 10 and 11 year old that planned to murder and rape a classmate to the Maverick's owner saying he would consider putting Brittney Griner on his team to even the most basic subject matter, like why I can't stand self-proclaimed "nice" guys.

Those will be discussed later...because today I need to breathe. Today, I would like to relax and pretend there aren't so many bad things happening, pretend that this accomplishment doesn't come on the heels of so much criticism of a young lady who is incredibly talented, and pretend that guys that are nice don't actually act nice to get things they don't deserve in return.

Today, I'm taking a selfish moment to be happy about a small investment I made that has given me peace, a new way to look at things, and a new appreciation of time and priorities.

Bella, sweet, sweet, lovely, Bella.

Bella is a Canon AE-1 that I got last week at a random garage sale type deal that was held in the building we've been having church. For $20 I got the camera body + 3 lens + 3 filters + a nifty bag + an attachable flash.

TWENTY DOLLARS. And it ALL works.

After blowing through my first roll of film, I realized that this camera taught me a very important lesson that digital photography made easy to forget: capture memorable moments. It seems dumb, but with a digital camera you have a million chances to get the right shot, to pick it apart and try again over and over and over, with a film camera, you don't have that same chance.

It's funny, with 24 exposures, it's like being given a full day and you have only those 24 hours to fill with whatever it is, but once that time is up - it's done. I don't know, sometimes it's the little random things like that that really rattle you, make you take the time to really take your time. 

All that being said, I hope you have a productive day...that you're able to see past all the bad in the world and try to contribute some good rather then simply focusing on your own good...because the world can always use some more of that.

#Redbox 52: Marry for love?

There are few things that are good about being sick...but if I had to pick one, it is being forced (for the most part) to stay home and stay warm and do what you like. For me, that has included, eating healthy, reading books, taking baths, and watching movies.

Today's Redbox 52 takes a strong look at love and marriage and fidelity and forgiveness.

Anna Karenina looks at several different types of love, dutiful love, forbidden love, maternal love, enduring love, and, of course, romantic love. Sadly, only two of these loves comes out a true winner in the end, and that's romantic love combined with enduring love, but boy oh boy, watching it all play out before your eyes sure is beautiful.

If there was one thing this movie made me think about, it was the reasons we choose to get married.

When I was younger, a family member told me marrying for love was foolish because love can fade when certain things change and that the smart thing to do was to marry someone you could work with. As unromantic as that sounds, I understand what they meant. Too often we see people rushing to jump the broom because they're severely infatuated with someone, they don't necessarily know them and they have a bunch of qualities that aren't that great, but they're in "love" so they get married.

While I see marriages that start like that usually end in unhappiness, I still believe in marrying for love as long as the love is also matched with common goals and the desire to make the relationship work.

In Anna Karenina we see several couples, many have married as a way to move up in their social status or simply to maintain it. For most, the marriages are loveless aside from their children. You see affairs as characters go in and out to try and fill a void they had hoped to have managed through their union. With Anna's character, she is content in her marriage, though she knows she did not marry for love, however her husband is noble and kind, with a good head on his shoulders and a career that can sustain the both of them, for most, the ideal man to marry.

However, she soon finds herself caught in a different type of situation, a love that starts with an obsession and then grows to an addiction, and as most addictions go, it ends badly. In the movie, the topic of infidelity comes up several times, but my favorite quote is from a man who believes desperately in true, virtuous love.

"An impure love is not love to me. To admire another man's wife is a pleasant thing, but sensual desires indulged for its own sake is greed, a kind of gluttony, and a misuse of something sacred, which is given to us so that we may choose the one person with whom to fulfill our humanness."

As I said, I believe in marrying for love. I'm a staunch believer in romantic love, true love; I believe it comes with time and with work, but that two people, committed to growing together can make it work. That is why romantic + enduring love will always come out a winner, whether in fiction or in our day to day lives...call me crazy but I believe it.

If you've watched the movie, or read the book - which I plan to do - tell me what you think! And when it comes to love, what are the things that you believe make it work? Would you marry for love or are other factors more important?

The beauty of a new view

I have been fortunate to work with a bunch of crazy talented people in my day, but one of the most awesome individuals that I've run across is Shannon Boodram.

A couple years ago, I interned under Shannon and her friend Andrea on their shared website. The experience was great and to this day, I'm grateful that I got the chance to work with both of them, but because I was on my way to becoming a reporter, I wanted to focus on writing, so I worked hard to establish a bond with her.

I was reading her blog and she posted something I really tacked on to that also matched with my last blog on the journey into adulthood.

"I am a firm believer that in today’s day and age too many people believe that pursuing their dreams and patience are opposites. On the contraire it’s called common sense. If you want to be an actor but you have no money, no connections, no support and no stability maybe now isn’t the best time for your dreams. What you need is to do your due preparation to give yourself a fighting chance at eventually pursuing your dreams." (Reinvent Your Wheels) 

Reading that was automatically easy to identify with because I felt like it was the path that I had taken since beginning my career in television as a production assistant in Philadelphia. I used my 9 months between graduating and getting my first reporting job to build connections, work on my reel, and try to soak up as much as I possibly could so that when the time came to make this big transition, I could.

My generation is one that has big dreams. Many of us have these ideas in our head for what we want to do with our lives, but we simply haven't sat down to plan in a realistic manner, so when things come crashing down we get frustrated. Even worse sometimes is when things magically begin to fall into place prematurely, because nothing hurts more than investing so much in something just to have it fail miserably because you weren't ready.

I have had quite a few ups and downs in my current job, but reading her blog reminded me of the ups and downs at my old job. Though they weren't as numerous, I also have to take into account that I was a part-time employee, simply eager to get my foot in the door - now I'm in the big leagues, but I'm paying my dues to get where I want to be, so it's not that I'm doing anything wrong, I'm simply preparing for my future and if things keep progressing as they have when I put my hard work into it, then I have a lot to look forward to in the next year, so here's to going hard with what I got and making the most of every situation! It reminds me of one of my favorite Latin proverbs: Amat victoria curam - which means literally, victory loves carefulness, but as one of my adored movies puts it, victory loves preparation.

What are some changes you plan to make to achieve to your next big goal?