I've had an issue with one of my teeth for longer than I'd like to admit - no pain, just a filling that came out. For months I used some mush that you can buy at CVS to "fix" the problem but after doing that a couple times, I just left it alone. It's never been a noticeable problem, more like a nuisance that I just became accustomed to; for example it became common practice to rinse my mouth after each and every meal to make sure no food was stuck in the gaping hole in the back my mouth. No one ever noticed because, I never really complained about it.
As I read that, it hits me that I use that same method for almost everything in my life. When I have a problem that's starting to stir me up, I tend to wait it out, to just push it to the back of my mind, put some temporary blockade up in an attempt to fix it.
So many people point out that temporary fixes never really help a situation. It's like putting a bandaid on a gushing wound and pretending that you're not bleeding out. I don't know if it's a matter of disliking change or confrontation (or medical bills) but I've always been reluctant to make big changes, even if they're changes for the better. After awhile, you just get used to the way you live, used to the way you function, even if it is uncommon or unpleasant.
How many patterns do you have that are simply unsavory, but they've become so engraved in your daily routine, you can't imagine not doing them?
It wasn't until this week that I decided it was time to do something...I don't know why it suddenly started to bother me, it didn't start hurting, there was no big moment, but at some point I knew it wasn't "proper" for this to be my way of handling my tooth issue - and inherently every other issue that's been getting an insufficient response.
Coping mechanisms are funny like that, many times we don't even realize that we're doing it. Before I went to bed last night I ate an apple and then proceeded to tinker with one of two games, chew only on one side or play the game of get-what's-stuck-out before I stopped and said, there's a better way of handling this.
Whether it's small things like not addressing the tooth problem to bigger things, like friends that put you down - facing the issue directly before it causes more pain, or before you become numb to the pain, is an important process. Pruning your life, pruning your habits can be so uncomfortable though. As much as I'm not looking forward to whatever happens tomorrow, I'm also not looking forward to not having the gap. It's not that I like it, it's just something that I'm familiar with. I occasionally will run my tongue over the only real noticeable negative in my mouth, even if it's only by myself. The jagged edges are an interesting contrast to my considerably smoother molars. In the same way my other coping habits that need to be cut have a similar effect: they're jagged edges and random things that don't really fit in my life that I've forced in to avoid addressing the bigger picture.
As appreciative as I am of the fact that the problem doesn't cause me pain right now, it doesn't mean that it won't hurt me in the future, so why wait until a bigger problem arises? Paying the money now only prevents me from having to pay more in the future...and fixing my response to other things may be a life change that's difficult now but it will prevent falling into unhealthy patterns that could hurt me more later.
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