When Wishes Come True

Ahh, the phrase "be careful what you wish for," has never been more true.

Women often fantasize about receiving a letter in the mail from a lover, an admirer from afar, proclaiming their undying affection for them. Many times, people say that my generation is one that has lost the zeal of written word, that we--as a group--have been sucked dry when it comes to our ability to hold conversations that don't involve character limits.

Frankly, I'm inclined to agree that many people in my generation have stopped long form writing, however, I would say that it has taught us--well…some of us--the importance of being concise in our manner of speaking.

Facts matter. Details, sure. But once things start getting long and flowery, it's time to chop it up.

That's my news side taking over as well…BUT back to the whole letter thing.

August 14th started like any other day…oh, how it changed once I arrived at the station to find this gem waiting for me.

Yes…I, Ashley received a 4 page letter from an admirer. In fact, I wouldn't call it a letter, he referred to it as a MISSIVE. Yes ma'ams and sirs. A missive. 

He would go on to tell me how beautiful I am, that my eyes are mesmerizing, that seeing me on his television screen causes his blood to become the place the gods must have gone before they found fire.

YES.

I have what seems to be a stalker. 

However, like any good stalker/admirer/fantasizer, there are limitations to our conversations. The biggest limitation? The fact that he is incarcerated and will be in prison until November 2013. At which point, I should be far, far away from Panama City Beach, FL. 

And yes, I do plan on writing back. I mean, that's the right thing to do, especially considering the final page which illustrated all the reasons that my not writing back would be ignorant on my part and the disclaimer at the beginning of the letter (2 paragraphs) that explained why I have no reason to be alarmed that I was getting a letter from a man in prison who has only seen me on a television screen.

Oh, life. You truly are stranger than any fictional movie I could put together. Thanks for that.