And so it begins

For some reason, coming into 2013 didn't have the same excitement the other years have had in the past...maybe it's because I have a new understanding of what a new year means. People give so much significance to this idea of having a chance to have a new beginning, a new start, as if they couldn't do it at any other time.

That sounds so cynical and pessimistic, doesn't it? Yeesh...what has 2012 done to me? I could have sworn that this time last year, I was a much more cheerful person, but this time last year I was in a very different spot. I was close to family, I kind of had friends, and even though there wasn't really anyone that I had anything serious with, though there was someone in the picture, I at least had the distractions of a big city to keep me sustained.

Things have changed, so very much.

To say that 2012 was a wash wouldn't be an accurate portrayal of the year either. I mean, I moved away from the cold and back to Florida, I made trips to see friends, went to my first music festival, got the job I've always wanted, but oddly enough, I'm not happy.

I think I never let that thought really sink in. We spend so much time saying it's not okay to be unhappy or lonely, but it's just a natural part of life. In the same way that you won't be good at everything you do, you will fail, you will be bad at something, you will drop the ball in the most humiliating fashion and sometimes everyone will see - but it's only bad if you choose to stay there...there's nothing wrong with addressing it.

I came into 2013 with a smile on my face, but also with the knowledge that there are things I want to change. I know that I have picked my motto for the year, which hopefully will stick for the rest of my life. It's more of an idea than a motto, realistically speaking, the idea that in all that I do, I will commit. When things get hard, I will simply go harder. That's all...and that's with everything in my life.

From my relationship with God to this blog to learning to play guitar. I have a bunch of things that I've just half done, half committed to and this year, I'm devoted to making the most of my time and the most of my life.

I know I have a lot to look forward to, but most of all, I can look forward to 2013 being significantly better than 2012 on the premise that I will fight for it to be better, in every way. Does that mean that I will get everything right? No, and that's something I will have to come to accept...it's not about being right, it's not about being perfect, it's about fighting, persevering in the face of defeat and that is something I can do and will do.

So, 2013...I hope you're as ready for me as I am for you.